You know how it goes – Granddad’s paper hat is wonky. Nobody’s touched the sprouts. It’s time to pull a cracker and tell a groan-inducing gag!

Cue an instant desire to do it again in the hope you get a better joke. You won’t.

Here’s our list of 12 of the best worst Christmas cracker jokes…

1. What is Santa’s favourite pizza?

One that’s deep pan, crisp and even

2. How do snowmen get around?

They ride an icicle.

3. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy

4. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?


5. What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party?

Freeze a jolly good fellow


6. What happened when Santa went speed dating?

He pulled a cracker

7. What does The Queen call her Christmas broadcast?

The One Show

8. What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?

He got 25 days

9. Why was Santa’s little helper feeling depressed?

He had low elf-esteem

10. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?

It’s Christmas Eve




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