I have no problem with people who go to the gym.

It’s the people who feel the need to broadcast they’re going to or coming from the gym that I have a problem with.

Do they feel duty bound to inspire by keeping us to speed with their workouts?

What’s worse is the people who aren’t content to tell you they’re gym regulars. They have to show you.

I’m talking about people who go everywhere in their gym gear.


I reckon most of them never even make it to the gym.

We’re supposed to assume they’re so busy they haven’t time to change before or after the gym. As far as I know the vast majority of gyms have changing rooms. And if they’d had a proper workout they should be dripping with sweat instead of bouncing about the supermarket without a hair out of place.

I think it would be easier for everyone concerned if people just wore a badge informing others they are a member of a gym.

In fact a medal would be more appropriate given their need for both adulation and affirmation of their gym attendance.

Then you’ve got gym friendships which, let’s face it, are the equivalent of a sham marriage.


When you’re introduced to someone’s friend from the gym that’s exactly what they’re introduced as.

“This is Alan. He’s my friend… from the gym.”

A clear message that the only reason they’re hanging about with Alan is to further enhance their credentials as a gym diehard, proving they attend the gym so regularly they’ve even forged friendships there!

Anyone who broadcasts their workout schedule or wears their gym kit to anywhere else but the gym is destroying the purpose of the gymnasium.

You go there, you work out, you get in shape. Then someone asks you – “Have you been working out?” – you blush, you thank them for noticing, then you go back to the gym, even more motivated than before. In a quiet and dignified manner.



May I recommend the ‘Dunne’s Stores Approach’ when faced with someone who is constantly on about the gym? All you have to do is have the same conversation back to them, replacing any mention of ‘the gym’ with ‘Dunne’s Stores’.

“I was in Dunne’s Stores for an hour before work today. It was hectic!”

“I was so busy in work that I didn’t get to Dunne’s Stores at lunch time. They’ll be wondering what’s happened me.”

“This is Alan. He’s my friend… from Dunne’s Stores. He works out as well but he doesn’t like me to mention it.”


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