Mother’s Day is the day to express our love for the lady who brought us into this world in the form of breakfast in bed, a handmade card and some flowers bought the night before in the supermarket or garage forecourt.
With the exception of those of us who have been abandoned, neglected or abused, most children love their mum very dearly.
Here’s our tribute to Northern Irish mums, who come in all shapes and sizes, each with a very unique approach to mothering…
1. The mum who lives vicariously through her children. For ‘vicariously’, read ‘posts their every breath on Facebook’.
2. The mum who does everything for her kids and asks for nothing in return.
3. The mum who does everything for her kids and resents them for all eternity.
4. The mum who speaks her mind.
5. The mum who rarely speaks.
6. The mum who speaks in colloquialised conundrums like “What’s meant for you won’t pass you by.”
7. The mum who was never there.
8. The mum who was always there. And never knocked before coming into your bedroom.
9. The mum who sacrifices everything.
10. The mum who gives up nothing.
11. The mum who mistakenly assumes that all her extended family feel privileged to be asked to babysit while she and her partner continue to socialise a minimum of five nights a week.
12. The mum who encourages her kids to be creative and express themselves and then throws a wobbler when they draw on the walls with permanent marker.
13. The mum who thinks her son is the kindest, caring, most gorgeous boy on the planet regardless of what the High Court judge said about him.
14. The mum who loves her son so much that he’s never allowed to leave home, except for work and Boys’ Brigade. He’s now 47.
15. The mum who can drink her daughter under the table whilst simultaneously lecturing her about the evils of alcohol.
16. The mum whose work is never done.
17. The mum whose work never starts.
18. The mum who is the first person you run to when something goes wrong and who knows exactly the right thing to say to get you back on your feet again.
19. Yer ma!