North Down’s finest, Mike McGoldrick (aka Shane Todd), answers a few questions on what Christmas is like in the promised land.

From Dame Mary Peters to Jackie Fullerton, Mike gives us a glimpse of life on the higher class side… sponsored by Grey Goose.

How does Christmas in the kingdom of North Down, differ from Christmas in, say, Portadown?

Well we exchange gifts that actually cost more than ten pounds sterling.

Many of us lower classes indulge in some Shloer on Christmas Day, what beverages would have with your Christmas dinner?

I wouldn’t clean my drains with Shloer*! The Moet will flow-et mayte.

Best present ever received? And the worst?

Best – A light up segway. Great for being taken seriously at business meetings. Worst – The freedom of the city of Newry (because I had to go there to accept it.)

Christmas is a great season for heading out with your mates so I wanted to ask do you ever just go non-VIP at Ollies or somewhere that has no door policy at all for a laugh?

Why would that be funny? No, I actually get catapulted into VIP now so I don’t have to set foot in the peasant’s pen.

Who would you pick as your 3 dream dinner guests at your Christmas party? (Can’t say Jamie ‘Banter’ Dornan as it’s a given he will be there)

Gloria Huniford, Dame Mary Peters & Pamela Ballentine. Put it this way – there wouldn’t be any spoons needed for the sorbet at the end of night if you know what I mean.

Where do you source your Christmas dinner?

Annually I will go to Clandeboye Estate, pick a turkey in the distance and take it out myself with a precise rugby kick.

What do people from North Down get each other when they basically have everything?

You can always have more, that’s what separates people like me from people like you.

What’s the best thing about Belfast during Christmas?

Sitting in the Jag watching people shopping on Royal Avenue in the pound shops, knowing that you are above them in every way.

Your favourite Christmas memory?

When Jackie Fullerton got a Nintendo wii and brought it over to McIlroy’s on Boxing Day. Fullerton cleaned up- which was all the more impressive when you factor in the fact he had taken on more Goose than the RSPB.

Any New Year resolutions?

My only resolution is to call birds back, and not lose their numbers. Does anyone have Kendall Jenner’s number?

*I do not clean my own drains

You can watch more of Shane in ‘Late License’ on Saturday at 10.50pm, BBC2 NI, where a host of Northern Ireland’s top comedians including Shane Todd, Colin Geddis and Ciaran Bartlett showcase their different characters and comedy skits.


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