These are seven things that always happen at Christmas dinner when my family get together.
Do you share any similar traditions like drunk aunties or cheating at pulling crackers?
1. The tipsy Auntie
I’m sure most families experience this, but at many family gatherings we all seem to have that one fun-loving Auntie who always has a few too many. It’s not a bad thing as they are enjoying themselves and it’s that one time of the year I’ll be trapped in a bear hug and told “You’re not a bad spud”… every… single… year.
2. Child gets hurt
Anyone with wee brothers, sisters, cousins all know that when a group of little people get together on Christmas Day that they will always play innocent games like running after each other around the house, or a wrestling tournament on the carpet. Even though I’m 19 I have to admit I join in and feel like The Undertaker sometimes as I can lift them all and flip them over, then I ‘Tombstone’ them to assert my dominance. Getting back to the point there seems to always be a point where one kid falls and whacks their head off furniture and cue a crying session.
3. Drinking Shloer
The one time of the year, where as a child I could feel as grown up as my parents with my flute glass and my pretend wine… Shloer. I could guzzle one of these bad boys within a matter of seconds and we always needed a good few bottles in the house. As I grew older and actually started to drink, the novelty wore off. Shloer will always bring back the memories of me holding my fancy wine glass like mum and dad do and is an important part of Christmas Dinner.
4. Funny Present
There’s always a funny/cheeky present. I once got my Grandad a nice pair of ‘Stud Undies’ which probably has left a few of my cousins mentally scarred at the thought. Don’t think they have been worn, anyone interested? I’ll take a couple of quid.
5. Sea of wrapping paper
There’s that much wrapping paper on the floor, it’s like a damn ocean to swim through. Then you have that one cheapskate in the fam, who is a proper weirdo and gathers it all up to keeps for next year.
6. Good crack
There’s always a mass of crackers at Christmas dinner, and this is yet another time where I remind the kids that I am more powerful than them. I always cheat by placing my thumb over the middle, but it doesn’t take away that feeling that I’m like Thor. I do have a brother like Loki at times, I guess. If only I had a massive hammer, golden locks and Natalie Portman as my girlfriend (getting in trouble for that last one!)
7. Crap music
A lot of time crappy Christmas music is played, I don’t mind some of them but it does begin to wear me down after a while and I want to send Michael Buble back to his slumber cave for another year. I usually grab the AUX cable and show the older peeps some of ‘my stuff’. I’d never seen such a bewildered face as my granny’s when I showed her some Skrillex…