My name’s Graeme and I like beer.

For this very reason I’m being encouraged to go sober for October.

Not by anyone in particular, just the general hullabaloo that’s associated with having a campaign underpinned by a couple of words that rhyme.

If someone told you they weren’t going to consume intoxicating liquor between September 25 and October 26, you’d look at them in unimpressed bewilderment.

Yet mention you’re ‘Going Sober for October’ and people throw money at you.

In fairness that could be the charity angle. Charity is such an awesome justification. Someday I reckon someone will go on a killing spree and in his defence he’ll claim he did it for charity.

I’ve never been a fan of abstinence (don’t panic – we’re talking alcohol again, not murder). It can only lead to overindulgence. If you like something you should be able to enjoy it.

What makes a person who is insanely craving alcohol but resisting a better person than one who occasionally gives in to those cravings in a bid to stay sane?

I blame David Cassidy for all of this. It’s no coincidence the Go Sober For October campaign has followed hot on the heels of his car crash of an interview on This Morning.

I suppose the key is moderation – something that is preached about by many but adhered to by few. My dad would often encourage me to do things in moderation. That’s when he finds time during rugby-watching marathons and eating ice cream directly from the tub.

I once went without alcohol for an entire year. I’ll admit I did feel better for it, but then I turned 14 and ended up back on the bottle again.

Can anyone really tell the difference between someone who’s been drinking and someone who’s been sober for a month?

In the case of the two wedding snaps below, yes, admittedly, it’s very easy, but generally a person who’s had a glass of wine and someone who hasn’t don’t look that different.

shutterstock_278157353drunk-people-at-a-wedding-400x300

When you give up alcohol you have to find something else to replace the buzz, and who’s to say the alternatives are any better? Take CM Punk for example – because of his straight edge lifestyle he’s been forced to get his kicks from fighting and tattoos.

CM PunkApparently there’s loads of health benefits associated with not drinking for a month or more, I was given a leaflet to read about them, but I just couldn’t focus on the tiny writing.

Although I won’t be taking part in Sober October, I will be making some effort to apply the moderation my dad aspires to.

During October my goal is to drink no more than five times. If I achieve that I’ll be doing well. If I don’t I’ll have an excuse to drown my sorrows.

And so begins my Mediocre October where booze is not allowed to pass my lips in 26 of the next 31 days…

Just to clear up the rules – does vodka jelly count as alcohol?

 

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