Only people who don’t have very much to resolve started their New Year’s Resolutions on January 1.

Let’s face it – for those who have demons they want to exorcise or just want to exercise like a demon – the new year starts officially on Monday January 4.

With cobwebs well and truly blown away during Christmas, New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day, the day after that and the day after that, it’s time to knuckle down.

Here are 6 of the most popular resolutions for 2016 as well as how these good intentions are likely to pan out…

1. Lose weight

It’s not like we don’t know what’s making it harder to climb three flights of stairs. However with new burger joints popping up in Belfast on an almost weekly basis it’s easier said than done. And if it wasn’t already hard enough there’s a campaign started to bring Krispy Kreme to Belfast.


Likely outcome…

We’ll manage two weeks of healthy eating, get some compliments that we’re wasting away to nothing, then fall off the wagon after failing to squeeze back into our favourite jeans from when we were 19.

2. Get fit

Without fail gym sign ups will hit a record high in January. Sales of gym wear will also soar as will the use of selfie sticks to get that ultimate gym selfie to inform all our friends that we’ve signed up for a new fitness regime.


Likely outcome…

While that pic we posted on social media is gathering ‘likes’ our gym bag is gathering dust. We’ll definitely go back next week, there’s just so much to do around the house, and work is so busy, and the new diet means we’re lacking the energy necessary for such a strenuous work out, and everyone else in the gym is so much fitter than us, and the weather’s so bad, and… and… and…

3. Tackle the garage / spare room

For men, this involves surveying a room filled with boxes, bikes and broken machinery and picturing it as a pool room or home cinema.


Likely outcome…

Enough random bits of metal are located to fill a shoebox (mostly those little hex keys you get with flat pack furniture) and then defeat is admitted when the enormity of the task is realised.

For women, this involves looking at a pile of clothes on a spare bed and hoping that there’s no randomers lying underneath from the last house party.


Likely outcome…

With the help of willpower, determination and a large gin, the room will be tidied in a single afternoon.

4. Clear out the Sky+ planner

Whatever the brand of digital set top box we’re all faced with the same dilemma – after a trigger-happy year of recording we’re facing 2016 with only 2% free space on the planner. Time for a clear out. Are we realistically going to watch all those episodes of Friends that we’ve series linked and set aside for a rainy day?


Likely outcome…

After much deliberation and debate we delete enough dross to achieve a new status of 11% free which triggers the need to fill it immediately with two series of Grey’s Anatomy.

5. Go to bed earlier

This is an easy one. We’re constantly tired so it’s not a difficult resolution to give into the calling of sleep.


Likely outcome…

All’s going well until we discover a new zombie box set or try to complete Call of Duty: Black Ops III in a single night.

6. Spend more time with family

What with the pressures of work and our hectic social calendars we just don’t get to spend enough time with our nearest and dearest. We vow it’s going to be different in 2016, the year when we put family first.


Likely outcome…

We take off a week on stress and go home home to be fed lentil soup by our doting mothers while our dad makes sure we’re not using up too much of the house’s allocated heat. Not the kind of quality family time we’d intended but it’s a result of sorts.

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